What’s wrong with glow in the dark stick on stars?

I’m off work on Monday after 2 p.m. if you need some help finding your baby.

I do love me some of them possum memes

The thing is: Left is right if right is wrong because the only way left that’s right is left.

What does Ruth Ginsberg Bader have to do with the colors on my tee-vee?

Would love to have a wood pecker as a pet, but the last thing I need in my financial situation is another bill.

Horrifying. Cannot believe in this day and age anyone would think they can pull off those drapes.

SCHAWING

Eggs are so hard to find and so expensive where I live that we’ve started substituting wegovy for eggs in our recipes.

My uncle’s name is Sir Benjamin Theodore Jameson Preston Livingstone Senior the Third, but he was better known as One Ball by his family, social circle, neighborhood, and coworkers. He lost a testicle to an alligator attack when I was 12 and ever since then, that’s what everyone calls him. Supposedly couldn’t have children, but somehow he did end up with a daughter. Granted she had blonde hair and blue eyes, so who knows where that might’ve come from. Certainly didn’t come from Jing Ho’s family.

Shrimp, shrimp. Good for the heart. The more you eat them, the more you fart.

No, but, yeah, but no, but raising freshwater shrimp is surprisingly easy. It’s very relaxing and entertaining to watch them go about their shrimpy lives. The truly freshwater species can complete their entire lifecycle in freshwater, which simplifies the whole set-up compared to many tropical saltwater and brackish varieties, and which also means you can have perpetual shrimp once you reach a critical mass.

Granted, there are some finicky varieties of freshwater shrimp that might be stressful to raise because if you so much as sneeze in their general direction, they’ll die. Or if you don’t tightly control the population via culling and/or separate out different color varieties, you can end up with a population that no longer produces bright colors. Also, there are various species of shrimp that are passed off as “freshwater” but which actually require salt and/or brackish water environments to reliably breed them in cultivation or which may be impossible to actually breed. So you definitely should do some research before you dive in.

Humulin, amlodipine, and cetirizine. But how did you know I stopped at the pharmacy after my bank trip?

Like my grammie always used to say, find a job doing something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

The secret to good tuna salad is to add something crunchy (celery, water chestnut, firm relish), something sweet (sweet relish, pinch of sugar), hard boiled egg yolk or diced whole hard boiled egg, and a small amount of breadcrumbs or crushed crackers to absorb excess moisture, with crackers being slightly tastier due to added sodium but breadcrumbs being preferred if you need to reduce sodium. You can also substitute canned salmon or similar for the tuna if mercury and pollutants are a cause for concern. And of course, a dollop of real mayonnaise, not artificially sweetened, hydrogenated and whipped vegetable byproduct.

This made me recall an odd bank related situation that happened to me a few weeks ago, and which I am still a bit perplexed by.

Due to a couple of things coming up, I needed to stock up on some bills of various denominations. Nothing all that crazy, in my opinion, 20 $1 bills, 20 $5 bills, stuff like that, a few hundred dollars at most. Where else do you get bills like that? The bank, I assumed.

When I got up to the teller, I explained that I needed to pull out X amount from my account, and I that I needed specific number of each denomination. She looked at me like I was asking something completely unheard of. She even told me, I don’t think I have the money for that as she shuffled through some drawers.

Eventually she asked another teller who told her she’d have to go to the central terminal (I don’t recall the actual name they used) and make a request for each denomination. So the teller walked across the back of the bank to a computer that looked like it was from the 80s. After about 10 minutes of typing, with multiple people helping her, 2 people came out from a room, walked over to a floor vault and opened it. While one pulled out the cash I requested, the other stood guard. It was surreal. They counted the money twice, the teller counted the money twice, and then finally came back to the counter and gave me the deposit. She seemed to be barely holding back her level of irritation at me.

All that for just a few hundred dollars in cash. It had me really wondering if I was mistaken about the role and services provided by banks and whether I was out of line for asking to receive specific denominations. Was I supposed to leave a tip or something?

Why can’t they just make one universal standard format and then just stick to that in all systems rather than have 400 million random different incompatible file systems running around? Wouldn’t 400 million and 1 be better?