

I actually have a friend like that as well. We played a lot of games and participated in roleplay communities together. I didn’t even know she was trans until one of her friends brought it up for some reason. My reaction was just kind, “Oh, neat, anyway.”
I have a different friend who I knew before her transition who is a lot more vocal about such a thing, and while I do respect her decisions she definitely wears it as a badge of honor. A few months ago we were playing Minecraft with some of her friends, and I didn’t know any of them.
One of them (to me) had a feminine name and a feminine voice, so when I was talking to my friend, I asked “Hey where did Zoey (example name) go? I need to give her some iron.” And my friend immediately cut me off to correct me that he was a he, and that he was trans, with a very angry tone to her voice. I understand misgendering may be a problem… but how was I supposed to know? We’re faceless voices across the internet, I know referring to everyone as they/them is ‘safer’, but that’s a little ridiculous to me (Especially because I’ve met some people who -don’t- want to be referred to with gender neutral pronouns)
I know that might sound hypocritical, that I don’t think people should introduce themselves as trans or anything else, and that I shouldn’t be villified for making an innocent misassumption. Having my cake and eating it too.
I would assume the goal of transitioning is for people to believe you are what you say you are, without the label of trans. I’d never have guessed that my rp friend was trans, and similarly if my friend had not told me their friend was trans, I would have just assumed he was a feminine guy, and not a trans man.
That’s true I suppose. I may be overly cynical (and clinical) when it comes to such things, I think that stems from the extremely stifling household I grew up in, where my parents wanted me to be religious, wanted everyone to know I was religious, and wanted me to let everyone know I was religious, as if I was a lucky one to find salvation. At some point the browbeating wore off, and I realized whatever opinions and beliefs I held didn’t make me more or less than anyone else, and that no one else’s would make them any more or less than the average human to me. (So long as their opinions and beliefs don’t bring harm to others, that is.)