These kinds of questions are best discussed with a therapist if you can see one, but yes, you can improve, and it doesn’t mean you have to be solo to do it. But try not to let the relationship define you. You need to be a whole, complete person without the external validation. Taking pride in your appearance is good, but feeling like you cannot show your most intimate partner your bare face is some regressive thinking from older generations we should leave behind.
People have to eat.
Fundamentally the US is broken, and people don’t have themselves to support themselves very long.
Medical debt can wipe out your meager gains incredibly fast. The stock market tanking erases your only real savings you may have had.
Under those circumstances, it’s hard to take action when your hustling to survive.