From the post:

But first question, as someone who isn’t tech inclined and tinkering […] that runs out of the box without me having to install additional software manually or at least automatic setup wizards because like hardware

Don’t recommend Arch to users who doesn’t want to tinker please. I know, I use Arch. Arch regularly requires user intervention, you should see them on the news: https://archlinux.org/news/ You can see, 3-4 times a year you have to fiddle with some settings, otherwise you can get an unbootable system.

And that’s how we get “the (unrealistic) expectation I had of Linux was all command line stuff and techno babble.”

Don’t use .local as an internal domain it can cause problems. Use .internal, it was recently reserved for this purpose

Have you tried rebooting your phone? Do you use the default rom, or did you find something better?

It’s an Ulefone, I experienced bugs frequently with other semi-noname chinese brands. It’s cheap because they don’t pay much for QA and software developers. For that price I would expect such things.