Dharma Curious (he/him)

Don’t worry, after we invade and occupy purchase Greenland Red, White, And Blueland, I’m sure we’ll “purchase” Iceland, too. Then we can all go live there…

It’s a fun little ditty

There’s a genuinely fun song that relies on a similar premise

Shut up, my paper isn’t due until Sunday, and I needed make this pillow cases today!

What’s aq?

Oompa loompa doompety doo I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you Oompa loompa doompety dee If you are wise you’ll listen to me

What do you get when you capture and cage Tiny elephants filled with wisdom and rage? Forcing them to work against their own will What do you think they’ll do when they’ve had their fill?

Oompa loompa doompety dack If you’re not cruel, they won’t attack You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa doompety do

They may be small but they’re clever and bright With memories long and a thirst to fight They’ll band together while you sleep at night And stomp on your toes with all of their might!

Oompa loompa doompety dight Listen to now and set things right You can befriend them instead of enslave And they’ll trumpet your name from tunnel to cave

What can you gain from your wicked small zoo? When friendship and trunk-shakes are waiting for you? The karma returning from your evil schemes Will haunt all your days and plague all your dreams!

Oompa loompa doompety doo Treat little creatures with respect that’s true Oompa loompa doompety dee Set those wee elephants instantly free!

The Belcher children have grown up, apparently. That sounds exactly like something she’d say

It doesn’t make sense. But I live in the southern US, where they didn’t get that memo that it’s okay for men to like things besides giant trucks and football. Two dudes in Walmart did the coughfaggotcough thing a while back when they saw me with my teeny little mini dachshunds. 🙄 They don’t know what they’re missing. Tiny dogs rock

Please do. Some of us learn by reading diatribes on subs like this one

Nah, as a dachshund dad, everyone cares. I can’t take them anywhere without adding extra time to how long it takes. For real, on days when I take them for a ride in the car, I have to add an hour or so to my mental math of the trip because people will stop me to pet them or ooh and aww. It’s wild.

And then like once or twice per dozen trips out someone makes a comment about me having little “girly” dogs, and I gotta deal with that, too. But IDC, my babys love going for rides, so they’re gonna go for rides. Lol

Nah, it legit is, though. Just because someone or most someones understand how something happens doesn’t mean it isn’t magic anymore. It just means that we have a hard magic system. We understand our magic so well that we’ve stopped seeing it as magical, but if you take a step back and take a look at the big picture it becomes clear that the world is magical, and everything around us is this amazing, often confusing, incredible tapestry of Wonder and awe. The world has just ground us down so much that we feel like wonder is strictly for children, that we’re not allowed to feel wonder anymore. Embrace the magic. Even if you know how it works.

I mean, I figured it was more meme-y than accurate, but good to know. Still, they’re smart as fuck and mourn their dead, and seem to have rituals, sacred spaces, and generational knowledge. Shrink them suckers down and let me give a whole herd of petite pachyderms a patch of paradise, please

Definitely oot, but if I could pick two, it’d be this super weird game I’ve never been able to find again, or remember the name of. Had a kind of Hawaiian theme, iirc. There was a conch shell you blew. It was weird, and I loved it so much

So there is a good reason, then? I’ve googled it before, and the best answers I’ve gotten are basically “cause MAMMOTHS!”

If that’s the case and there’s a good reason, then hell yeah, do whatever we can to prevent climate collapse!

But also, give me small elephants, please? Especially if they can manage Chihuahua sized elephants. I would have so many! And I would make sure they always have a clear view of the moon goddess they worship

Ever since I was a kid I’ve always been hyped about the idea of them bringing back the mammoth. Been hearing about it my whole life…

But I have to ask… Why are we trying to, exactly? I mean, the planet’s heating up. why are we trying to reintroduce a woolly mammoth? It’s one thing if they’re talking about using actual mammoth DNA and cloning it, but that article was talking about specifically just turning on some genes that cause fur and cold tolerance… What is the point of just making furry elephants at this point? Where are we sticking them, and why are we sticking them there? Is there some ecological niche that needs filling? Are we going to attempt to populate Antarctica (and hope it stays cold enough for that?) with hirsute pachyderms?

How about a different plan? As much as I have been excited woolly mammoths my entire life, let’s try something a little different. Let’s shrink the elephants we have, and introduce them into North America. Elephants the size of bison, roaming the continent. You can still make them cold tolerant, to handle winters, and give em some fur if you want. But the elephants we have are going extinct, and you’re worrying about bringing back something else. How about we save what we have? Let them roam and graze Europe and North America, replacing the Aurochs and the bison. God knows we’re not going to stop eating anything too cow like, so wild bison is basically right out. Let’s let the elephant fill these niches, and save the species. They’re too fucking smart to let die. Elephants got fucking religion, y’all. We cannot let them die.

Oh that is fucking fantastic

I don’t believe you. Give me a list of names of these men who top twinks.

Also, if you have it, a list of twinks that top. For research and analytical purposes. Just to verify your story.

That’s not how that unit works. American shoe sizes are based on the size of a barleycorn! It’s not weird and confusing or a pointless, arbitrary tradition that should have been replaced years ago or anything!

Read through the comments because I just assumed this was some sizing scale I wasn’t familiar with, but nope. US size 3! That’s wild. I’m 6’3, size 13 wide. I never really got to wear kids shoes, so I was always jealous of the other kids who had wheelies and stuff.

Dude, for me, get a pair of wheelies. Live my dream for a day, alright?

Also, you mention your hands are also small. Does that cause any issues for you? Youve answered a million questions about your feet, but I’m curious if your smaller hands cause you pain when carrying things, do they make it harder to type? Any advantages? Are Pringles cans much more enjoyable for you?