Ada

And smart clients/UIs like tesseract realise that the link is to a remote lemmy instance, and then give you the option of viewing it remotely or from your own instances perspective

Existing stress, changing temperature and shifting building structure. Any and all of those can cause it

On the horizon? They crossed that horizon a long time ago. It’s just going to accelerate now

Any place with anonymous/ephermal account and posts as the default is going to attract the worst people in the world…

I understand your position, and that it makes sense to you. I personally feel that there is a degree of overreach involved when action is taken based on behavior that happens outside of an instance

Let me challenge that. The issue isn’t where they gatekeep, it’s the fact that they do it at all. People willing to explicitly and deliberately undermine gender diverse folk when these conversations come up are a problem if our users can just stumble across them. It doesn’t matter where the user is posting, if they’re not banned, their content can and will be seen by blahaj users.

And trying to escape that shit is why so many of us have left twitter, reddit, tumblr and other centralised social media sites that just don’t give a shit about transphobia. The users here come here precisely because that shit is stomped out when it’s found.

Giving people a free pass because they post outside of blahaj communities just makes the overall experience similar to a mini reddit or twitter or facebook. Individual users have to each encounter the bigot, and then block them. Each of them exposed to the bigotry first.

And I appreciate that some queer folk want that experience. And that’s the power of federation. They can be on an instance that doesn’t react the way blahaj does. But many folk don’t want to see that shit at all. They don’t want to stumble across gatekeepers and bigots and people willing to actively deny them their own identity. And that’s what blocking folk at the instance level does. They don’t need to see the shit first before they can block it. Much of it is gone before it ever crosses folks feeds.

There is no power tripping in this approach. It is a very considered and deliberate approach that lets us avoid defederation of whole instances. Folk who don’t want that experience are welcome to host their user accounts on other instances, whilst still joining in with our communities. Or host accounts on our instance and other instances like many folk do.

There is no plan to control what people see here. Just an approach that gives a vulnerable community the option of a relatively bigotry free feed.

Thanks again for engaging

Right back at you :)

I just want to clarify. The only people getting banned for remote comments are people who knowingly and explicitly gatekeep other folks identity in response to this topic coming up. They are banned so that they don’t start appearing in blahaj communities with the very people they’re invalidating.

To me, there’s no difference. If someone’s response to this topic coming up is to double down on gatekeeping, it doesn’t make them any less harmful just because they did it outside of a blåhaj community.

Do not confront the people doing bad things

That’s not the rule. The rule is don’t misgender them.

If you can’t use their pronouns or otherwise interact with them without invalidating their identity, then, you aren’t to interact with them.

The only people who were banned were gatekeeping other folks identities. If you find an example of someone that was banned who didn’t do that, I will unban them.

If you find that inconsistent or confusing, I’m not sure what to tell you…

So what about all the people who were banned from blahaj back in december for dissent?

No one was banned for dissent. People were banned for gatekeeping, misgendering and repeatedly and/or deliberately misgendering folk.

Most people who were banned for “Gatekeeping” then and since then were really just banned because the admins didn’t like them despite them dispite not breaking rules.

The rule is don’t misgender and gatekeep other folks and block or ignore them if you can’t deal with their identity or pronouns. The modlog is right there. If you can find a single instance of someone getting banned without breaking that or another rule, I want to know about it

For there to be a meaningful criticism to be made against people who don’t adopt, adoption would need to be accessible to folk who want kids.

In Australia, queer folk have only been able to adopt since 2017. Even for the straight folk, accessing adoption is next to impossible for most folk. It takes years and lots of money, and it involves the couple (only couples, not singles) being greenlit by the birth parents, which means queer and racial bias is another hurdle.

In theory, you can do international adoption, but that has to be by the books, or the adoption isn’t recognised. And and that means dealing with the adoption systems of two countries. It takes time and even more money that adopting locally, and most countries don’t allow same sex parents to adopt.

Visualize a bunch of children. Some are on the streets and some are in foster care centers

Kids on the streets can’t be adopted. The system doesn’t work that way.

And kids in the foster system can rarely be adopted. It’s sometimes possible, but if adoption is your goal, fostering isn’t the way to go about it, because most of the time, adoption won’t be possible. Mostly, foster kids get moved around, and returned to their birth families after a period of time. Fostering is laudable, but it’s not adoption.

And all of this altogether means that the adoption system is inherently biased towards rich, white straight couples. If that’s not you, you’re effectively locked out of the system. And on top of that, it doesn’t even help the kids in your hypothetical scenario

I have a couple of married friends. Both trans guys. They tried to adopt, and their options for surrogacy all fell through. So one of them carried their daughter. He didn’t want to do it, but they were out of other options, so he did.

He wasn’t “female whilst pregnant”. He wasn’t a mum, a mum to be, a pregnant woman, or any other term like that. He was a pregnant man, or when needed for clarity, a pregnant transgender man.

I’d ban you too, in a heartbeat, if you brought any of that bullshit in to a trans or queer sub that I moderate.

You having a trans kid doesn’t give you permission to walk all over the voices and experiences of trans people trying to navigate pregnancy