No problem.
I’ll add one other thing: Others have mentioned couples therapy. This is a great idea. Even if the relationship is already over, worst case scenario is they both gain some insight into their own toxic behavioural patterns to make their next relationship better.
Wtf is this. I’m so confused.
That’s why I set up a tent around the seat for me and whoever I go with. If anyone questions the noises I just yell " squatters rights!" and start kicking.
My go to whenever I hear any kind of bump in the night is to grab something that can be used as a weapon and make sure I’m completely naked.
In the infinitesimally small chance it’s some kind of spirit or ghoul I will try to fuck it, b cause it’s what it would least expect. If it’s a human intruder I will attack it, and I just assume that the shock of seeing a nearly 40 year old fully nude dad bod coming at them screaming and brandishing a weapon will create a moment of confusion that I can use to my advantage.
I do think it would be more difficult ting if it was a sinister tetrahedron, the most evil of shapes.
“yes” is the most dangerous word in the English language.
Hotter take: ban religion completely outside of religious facilities and private dwellings.
No iconography, no discussion, nothing. You can go into your temple and do whatever stupid shit you want, you can aid the poor if you want, but everything to do with your religion stays behind closed doors.
Amen.
Nobody takes issue with the idea that people can’t own people. Until they’re in a relationship and they start thinking of their partner as their property.
The insecurity around the all-or-nothing nature of monogamy creates all of the problems in monogamy.
Plus: orgies. Like. What’s the point of living without orgies?
Sex with one person, forever, no group sex, incessant discussions around fidelity driven by insecurity, gee, where do I sign up?
No one teaches you how to have a relationship. So people just kind of default into patterns that are often toxic.
It’s why taking a step back and being deliberate about how to communicate is so important. There needs to be a shared understanding and deliberateness about how to intentionally communicate.
And it needs to be something that applies equally to everyone involved. No copouts, no special circumstances that only go one way, there need to be firm, hard rules with specific consequences that apply evenly to all involved that are arrived at communally, and not unilaterally.
I once got 46 pages into an erotic STNG fan fiction thing. It’s one s x scene away from being done. I’ve been told it’s very hot, and that is very confusing. It also features brief interludes with a panel hosted by Canadian hockey legend Don Cherry, Mario Lopez, and Kristen Whig for some reason.
I can send it to you and you can finish it for me.
But can they discover why kids like the sweet taste of cinnamon toast crunch?
I can’t think of anything in particular since the most important thing, Deez nuts, are 100% Canadian.
It takes two to tango.
The defensive lashing out type stuff happens because he hasn’t established firm boundaries around it. And she’s probably lashing out about stuff because… Well. Doesn’t matter, really.
There need to be firm boundaries about how to have a discussion that apply evenly to both of them. Both of them need to buy into these rules. When the lines are crossed the discussion ends.
This isn’t about shutting down a discussion but having the awareness to recognize constructive versus destructive discussions.
Setting reasonable, adult boundaries and rules, sticking to them, and establishing that certain behaviours are problematic are the only way this gets better.
If she’s unable to recognize her own defensiven ss as a problem and work on it all of this falls apart but having the framework in place will allow transparency into the why of it.
Hi dad, it’s me, your son, but from the future. I’m 75 now and writing to you via a time machine I found behind a McDonald’s Bell.
It is crucially important you need these words: do not order the fish sticks. Under no circumstances, NONE, order the fish sticks.
Agreed.
Reading the article, even when they’re taking responsibility they’re still not taking responsibility.
“It’s my fault, but that’s because it’s everyone else’s fault”
My religion is “keep your religion dar the fuck away from me”.
I believe in freedom from religion even more strongly than of religion
I’ll change your oil using my asshole for nine sheckels and a tuppence.
The thing in this post about curiosity isn’t just a lemmy/online thing.
The vast majority of people are mainly interested in themselves. Like - if you have trouble on dates, making friends, getting along at work, anything to do with people in general - approaching them with a sense of sincere curiosity will completely change things overnight.
Get people to talk about themselves, be supportive in your discussions with them, and shut the fuck up wherever possible and suddenly you’re interesting, a good person, kind, whatever - traits you’ve done exactly fuck all to demonstrate, but that people will swear are true because you seem interested in them.
It’s fucking bonkers but it’s true. Curiosity can change your world.
Well played. You win. This round.